Gina Klein - Episode I

Hej, my name is Gina Klein. Most human beings think that I am just an innocent little puppy when they see me sitting on their destop, but I am watching everything they do ... and knowledge is power.

If you don't believe me, just look at that guy they call 'root'. He is a bit vain, and thinks he is smart, but I know his password is r00t. Don't laugth - humans are that stupid.

I am Gina Klein. Resistance is futile. Your chocolate cookies will be assimilated.

This morning, Surprise, one of my friends, has received a packet by mail. (Of course, Surprise is not his real name. He just likes to pretend he knowns French by occasionally exclaiming things like 'Quel surprise !'.) As I peek over his shoulder, he unwraps the packet, and - whoops! a dinosaur appears - well, sort of, actually a notebook with the ominous writing '486-DX33'. Surprise plugs in the monstrous AC adapter, switches on the notebook, and watches as the screen lights up and the BIOS dumps some error message.

He checks the BIOS setup, and changes the date from 1/1/80 (funny setting) to something in the 90's. He reboots the thing, and again it dies, but with a different error message this time. Back into the BIOS setup. He starts experimenting with the harddisk configuration.

While he tests systematically the numerous available options between 20 and 110 MB (yes, that's the harddisk, not the RAM), I step out to look for some chocolate cookies. It's christmas time, thus there is no shortage of them.

After assimilating some cookies, I come back just in time to see Surprise choosing a 59 MB harddisk configuration. Reboot, and, whoops!, the dinosaur boots into Windows® 3.1, and starts up Word®, fast as hell, really incredible ! (of course it's Word® 2.0, who cares). It's impressive how this machine starts up the word processor just as fast as any state-of-the-art you-name-it Gigahertz box.

Which is conlusive evidence for my theory that you humans will never make any real progress in computerized word processing: because software gets slower at the same rate at which hardware gets faster, it will never be possible to write a letter on a computer any faster than now, or ten years ago ...